Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
