Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
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They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
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I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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