i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
