she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
