To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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