Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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