love makes seman taste better
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
