Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
