I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
my poor anus
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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