SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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