I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
