i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I don't deserve a penis
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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