ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just gargled with NyQuil
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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