I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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