I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
