so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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