worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
