My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
