omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The Olympian is in my bed
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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