glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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