You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
