omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
