very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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