He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
