New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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