I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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