...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
