My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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