I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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