I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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