based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
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