he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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