Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
