Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
