absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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