Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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