I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Even my vagina gasped.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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