I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Randomize
