I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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