no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Boobs are out for the taking
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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