hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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