quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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