I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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