I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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