I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
this just has baby written all over it
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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