WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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