Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
