I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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