How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
