Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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