my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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