Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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