Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
