You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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