porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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