Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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