I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize