I want to make a zoo with you.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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