I swear she didn't look like that last week.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
