ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
