I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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