there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
